Christmas Memories By Too Present
My heartfelt thoughts are alongside all of the caregivers, families too friends of anyone alongside Alzheimer's every bit yous approach the introduce Christmas too also for those, similar me, who choose already lost soul too choose solely memories of Christmases past.
By Elaine C. Pereira
Although it gets improve every year, I notwithstanding harbor a petty love/hate human relationship alongside Christmas.
I dear Christmas music but non at Halloween.
I similar gift giving but non the incessant idiot box commercialism.
I similar having friends too position unit of measurement together but immature adult woman mine, to a greater extent than frequently than non my mom.
But fifty-fifty earlier she died inwards 2011 from Alzheimer's, past times Christmases had been petroleum for both of us.
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As I approach the introduce Christmas, my second, without her, I cry upward Christmases past times alongside Mom, all memorable, but non without drama. Last twelvemonth my motto was "anywhere but home." I couldn't fathom decorating our fifteen-foot tree too non breaking downward repeatedly inwards a pool of tears every bit I unwrapped all of the too-numerous-to-count, mitt made ornaments Mom had cross-stitched, sewn, beaded, adorned too crafted over the years too years of Christmases past.
I avoided hanging the Christmas stockings she had also bejeweled alongside her exquisite craftswomanship including silk ribbon embroidery detailing.
I peculiarly recall my mom's bizarre, dementia induced behaviors of Christmas Day 2009. Mom was at my solid along alongside 1 of my daughters' too step-sons' families.
After dinner too dessert, nosotros gathered dorsum inwards the living room on Christmas evening. My mom was sitting on the couch adjacent to her granddaughter Christie. Mom was rifling through her grip “looking for something” that she couldn’t identify. I watched her somewhat disorganized too purposeless searching. She took her wallet out too and thus pose it dorsum in. She took it out again, laid it inwards her lap, too and thus drove her mitt dorsum into the dark grip similar a kid grabbing for a handful of candy. Next, she took out her checkbook, opened it, stared at it, too pose it dorsum inwards her purse. When she took out a clearly used Kleenex too pose it dorsum in, I walked over to intervene.
“How are yous doing, Mom? Have yous had a dainty day?” I asked. “I’m glad you’re hither alongside us.” I carefully confiscated the muddy tissue too cupped it inwards my mitt to dispose of later.
“I’m looking for my checkbook,” she said. “I can’t discovery it.” She was definitely frustrated too moving her hands to a greater extent than chop-chop but randomly.
“I intend it’s inwards your purse. Is that it?” I offered every bit I pointed straight at the border of her lavander checkbook comprehend embossed alongside Garfield too Odie.
She didn’t respond me every bit she removed it for a mo fourth dimension too opened it up. I noticed that at that topographic point were ii checkbook packs but no cheque register. I sat on the armrest of the couch piece she ruffled through the pages thus I could encounter clearly.
“Did yous ship a cheque to Angie (my daughter/her her granddaughter) this year? I know yous don’t actually store much anymore.”
“Yes. Well, no. I don’t intend so. I’m going to.” Her reply was choppy. “I didn’t write 1 for yous too Joe either.”
“You don’t choose to give us a check, Mom. We’re but glad yous came,” I said every bit she pulled out a pen too attempted to outset writing a cheque to us anyway.
“What’s the date?” she asked, seriously unable to recall it. I suppressed an inappropriate chuckle.
“December 25,” I answered.
She smiled every bit she looked upward at me too said sheepishly, “Of course,” every bit she shook her head.
Well, I thought, at to the lowest degree that slice is intact.
Christie was watching her grandmother every bit intently every bit I was. Mom had pulled a blank Christmas bill of fare from her purse. I idea it was fortuitous that she had planned ahead to choose cards. She tried over too over to address the bill of fare alongside Christie’s name.
First, she spelled it alongside a K. She scratched that out too wrote it alongside a y ending rather than an ie. I could encounter Christie’s furled forehead too soft pout reverberate how sorry she felt within to encounter her grandma struggling. I rested my mentum inwards my hand, fanned my fingers apart to camouflage my ain facial expressions of disappointment.
Mom pose the bill of fare downward too stared at her checkbook, poring over it every bit if she was hoping for roughly inspiration too direction on what to create next. She manifestly attempted to write numbers, but they were indecipherable, resembling random scratch marks.
Cautiously, I asked, “Would yous similar me to await through your checkbook? Maybe I could assist straighten it out a little?”
Her previously stressed facial expression melted away every bit she smiled too looked upward at me, close alongside puppy-dog eyes, too said “Yes. I would similar that.”
It was a disaster. She had ii checkbooks alongside a smattering of checks missing, roughly checks partially made out too no cheque register. The adult woman who had handled all of my parent's finances for decades too taught high schoolhouse calculus couldn't retrieve fifty-fifty plenty long term retentiveness whatever to a greater extent than to write out a unproblematic check.
* * *
I'm skipping out on this intense emotional drama this Christmas too, but I am starting to experience nostalgic too managed to hang upward Mom's elegantly made stockings without falling apart. Perhaps past times adjacent Christmas 2013 I'll grin when I opened upward the boxes too boxes too boxes of precious ornaments made alongside her beautiful, small-scale but rigid hands! I wishing they were hither instantly to concord me tight every bit I would her.
My heartfelt thoughts are alongside all of the caregivers, families too friends of anyone alongside Alzheimer's every bit yous approach the introduce Christmas too also for those, similar me, who choose already lost soul too choose solely memories of Christmases past.
Elaine C. Pereira is a retired schoolhouse occupational therapist who worked alongside special needs children. She earned her bachelor’s grade inwards occupational therapy from Wayne State University too later on completed her master’s degree. Pereira too her hubby alive inwards Michigan. Elaine is the writer of - I Will Never Forget: H5N1 Daughter's Story of Her Mother's Arduous too Humorous Journey Through Dementia
Advice too Insight into Alzheimer's too Dementia
Test Your Memory for Alzheimer's (5 Best Memory Tests)
Alzheimer's, Dementia, too Types of Dementia
Alzheimer's Clock Draw Test -- Detect the Signs of Alzheimer's Early
Communicating inwards Alzheimer's World
Alzheimer's, Your Brain, too Adaptability
The First Sign of Alzheimer's Short Term Memory Loss
Original content Bob DeMarco, the